Nikolay Lakutin
Operational bachelorette party. Comedy. А play for 5 people
Xana (with support, encouraging). Well! Don't be sour! What are you? You look so spectacular. The first beauty from our today's beau monde!
Lisa (embarrassed). Really?
Xana (with a sense of self-importance). Well, after me, of course!
They both laugh.
They drink wine from glasses, put the glasses aside (you can directly on the floor).
Xana (with warmth). Should I tell you about how I became like this?
Lisa (with interest). Yes, I'm very interested.
Xana (with warmth, retreating into memories). It was about a year before the marriage. I was an average gray mouse then. It's probably hard to believe now, but it's true. I, like everyone else, was taught high morality and that everything in the world is impossible. I obediently fulfilled these covenants. I was too shy to look into a man's eyes, let alone look somewhere else. I was ashamed even of my thoughts, which, for the sake of puberty, still made themselves felt.
And so, it so happened that a relative of mine got sick. She went to the hospital with oncology. Chemotherapy, everything. I came to visit. There were three women in the ward. Everyone is over sixty. One is a former teacher, the second is my relative, and the third is Tatiana. Former flight attendant. Against their background, I was very young. I addressed the former teacher by her first name and patronymic, you still say hello, communicate while you are in the ward. And the woman who worked as a flight attendant – she introduced herself as Tatiana. She did not name her patronymic. I talked to her the most. She was mesmerizing with her inner charm. I was captivated by her openness and kindness. His eyes shone with sincerity, happiness and warmth. Yes, by the age of sixty, but I couldn't call her a grandmother. She was blooming and fragrant. And this despite the fact that she was in the hospital at that moment with a very unpleasant diagnosis.
But I didn't want to talk to the former teacher. Yes, she was educated, the level of communication was at a height and all that sort of thing, but it was unpleasant to communicate with her. She was somehow all over… As if woven from shackles. An old miser, dissatisfied with life, but imagining herself to be the upper world. That's how I would describe her.
My relative didn't like to communicate with her either. But with Tatiana they got along Soul to Soul.
Then, after discharge, I came to visit Tatiana several times. Yes, that's how we became friends. She was passing gifts for my relative. We talked. And she always shone with happiness. Always met with a sincere smile, always with warmth. I once asked her how she always manages to stay so fresh, so bright and attractive? She replied that she had lived her whole life to the fullest. Working as a flight attendant contributed to this. Like what kind of man – a couple of signs of attention and he's yours. No one was very interested in the presence of marital ties in these fleeting relationships. If both sides are "FOR", so what is there to solve?
Someone will say that this is immoral, tactless, that such behavior is unusual for well-mannered people. But Tatiana didn't care about the opinions of highly moral bores. She was always full of bright emotions, she was always full of life, she was always with her wings outstretched. You know what I mean?
Lisa (with interest). Yes, yes, of course.
Xana (with warmth). But with all this, Tatiana remained very polite and delicate. She wasn't rude or ignorant at all. She was able to balance delicately between feelings, desires and the line that cannot be crossed in any case.
Lisa (with interest). Men, as I understood, were not beyond this line. Family, married – were all in the rank of acceptable?
Xana (with warmth). Tatiana didn't break a single family. She always made it very clear to the family that there would be no continuation of the "holiday". That now everything will be as you want, and then you will return to your wife, and everything will be great and wonderful there. Even better than before. By the way, it was. She still received feedback from time to time.
I then wondered how I want to meet old age? Like that teacher? Or someone like Tatiana?
Lisa (with understanding). Of course, like Tatiana.
Xana (with warmth). Of course, like Tatiana. I have never seen such a vivid example of female happiness, female realization, either before or after those meetings.
Lisa (with interest). What about the family? Children?
Xana (with warmth). Tatiana managed to live in a family, left behind a daughter. But family life is constancy, after all. And she was clearly not ready for him. The marriage broke up. Later I met a man I liked and already went with him, so to speak, to victory.
Lisa (with interest). But listen, from what you've told me… I can't draw conclusions that this Tatiana is an example to follow!
Xana (with warmth). Absolutely not! There should be no role model at all! There is no need to create idols and try to be like someone else. You just need to look and feel what is closer to you. The meanest thing that can be in life is a betrayal of yourself. Their essence, their morals, their true aspirations. And the aspirations of the same Tatiana were not men at all. They were just a pleasant side effect. The topic of men, in general, frankly speaking, is not the main one in the context of what I'm talking about, dating someone or not – everyone makes their own choice. I am talking about the inner state manifested in the outer. Do you understand?
Lisa (cautiously). I think so.
Xana (with warmth). Just a sparkling, charged, bright woman will never be left without attention from men. And here is what sparkled inside her, this fervor, a taste for life. This lightness, emancipation and self–confidence – this is the core that she carried in herself.
And this core subsequently formed the basis of my new page of life. Only when I threw off all my gray husk, that's when everything started. And she found her diplomat, or rather, he found me. And everything went, and everything went!
Lisa (cautiously). Listen…, it's all interesting, of course. But… don't know. So here's the time to take, and "break off the chain"?
Xana (with warmth). Here! You said it very correctly – to break off the chain. When I realized this, I immediately had a question: "Who put us on this chain? And why?"
Lisa (with understanding). Mmm…
Xana (with warmth). Yeah!
Lisa thinks about it.
Xana (gets up, walks around, narrates). Until that turning point, men paid almost no attention to me at all. And those who did, so it is… Not men, but a pathetic semblance. I wasn't interested in those myself. But then… Then yeah… Marriage, connections, communication. My looseness progressed. I got good at it and it started. Men began to look at me as the only one, or at least as an extraordinary one.
A lot of gorgeous men are circling around me now in a pack. Moreover, the men are really gorgeous. Those who have achieved success and realization with their work, their talent. They give me expensive gifts, show me worthy signs of attention, I often go to restaurants. And everyone understands everything, and no one has any complaints about anyone. Therefore, with my personal front, everything is tip-top! But this is also not the main thing. The main thing is that I then found the strength, found the courage to open up! Throw off these chains, which are familiar to every person, and start breathing deeply! That's when I really started living!
Lisa (enviously). I want the same!
Xana (with intrigue). Teach?
Lisa thinks for a little bit.
Lisa (definitely, loudly, firmly and confidently). Yeah!
Xana (with intrigue). Get up!
Xana approaches Lisa, holds out her hands to her. Lisa takes it. Xana pulls Lisa out of her seat. Both are standing.
Rhythmic music begins to sound softly.
Xana (with intrigue). Come on, shake it up. Imagine that you have been wearing a bunch of different blocks, clamps, chains and shackles since childhood. Close your eyes and directly imagine all this in material execution!
Lisa closes her eyes. Presents. He slouches a little under the weight, sits down a little, imagining all this heaviness on himself.
Xana (with intrigue). Introduced?
Lisa (heavily, with a tired hoarseness). Yeah…
Xana (loudly, imperiously). And now get rid of all this nonsense with one jerk, one time!
Lisa imagines how she takes on all this binding and burdening, and jerks off all this, having managed to jump aside.
Lisa sighs with relief, looks wearily at Xana. Lisa's look is already different. She's different.
Xana (with interest). How? Easier?
Lisa (discovering something new in herself, carefully). Yeah…
Xana (with intrigue). Now straighten up, spread your arms as if they were wings.
Xana shows you how to do it. He spreads his arms out to the sides like wings. Lisa repeats the movements.
Xana (with intrigue). Feel every feather, take a deep, deep breath, straightening your shoulders.
The girls sigh deeply with pleasure, closing their eyes, straightening their shoulders, not waving their wings too much.
The music starts playing a little louder.
Xana (with intrigue, loudly). Feel it? Do you feel a different Lisa awakening inside? The true Lisa? The one who came into this world, which has not yet had time to hang labels, locks and chains?
Lisa (with pleasure, covering her eyes with pleasure). I feel… Good…
Xana (loudly, to the point of trembling on the back). And now soar to heaven inside yourself and finally allow your Soul and body to do what they want!!! What they have been dreaming about for so long!!!
The music is getting even louder!!!
The girls start dancing. Dance body and Soul, the way they want.
At first, it is relatively modest and restrained, but as the music increases, the girls begin to "break away" so that everyone around them wants to start dancing!
The music abruptly subsides to the level of being able to say something.
The girls continue to dance.
Xana (addressing the audience, cheerfully, goading). Spread your wings, People! Dance with us, let's light up!!!!
The music increases dramatically in volume!
More!
Even louder!
That's it, yes!
Girls just tear up the space with their dancing, daring and sharp dance moves.
We anneal it so that the operator starts dancing with us and the light spotlights go on a spree in his hands!!!
Dancing and rejoicing, all the girl actresses come out.
Bow.
A curtain
Novosibirsk, January 2023
***
Dedicated to Tatiana Pavlova,
a former flight attendant.
She lived 69 years.
In 2022, she was gone.
I always remember the kind, open
smile of this pleasant, friendly
person.
…
With warmth, Nikolai Lakutin
***
Explanatory note for the director:
1. Not for staging in the Penza region!!! It is highly not recommended to install the original version in the Penza region. If you put, then all the jokes about the residents of Penza from the 3rd scene of the 2nd act should be removed. Although this episode with the name of Penza residents is not fiction, but no one likes to be laughed at. It is better not to take risks and not to touch on this topic at all when staging in the specified region.
2. There are several borderline jokes in this play. Every director knows his audience. Therefore, look at the situation. You think that somewhere it is better not to voice something – so be it. If you know that this particular audience will perceive certain moments with a bang – act boldly!
3. In the second act of the second scene "Oh, it's good-it's not good", Damira and Angelina communicate without words, after tumultuous tumbles with Marat's "gift". It is not necessary to use gestures, facial expressions and individual voice notes to try to convey the proposed version of a little discussion. You can have your own version, but + is close to the original one. In any case, the girls are emotionally and admiringly, exhausted from fatigue, trying to tell each other how good it was for them.
4. In the scenes where the girls (Xana and Angelina) look at the clock! You can beat them in different ways. They can look at a wristwatch, but then the watch must be provided on their hands (for example, a fitness bracelet). They can look at the wall clock, if they are provided by the scenography. You can simply watch the time on your smartphone. But the coolest thing would be if the clock would appear on a large monitor or on the wall from the projector. It would also switch the audience to an interesting directorial move, and in general it would be unusual, though troublesome.
..
These explanations and suggestions are optional for the production, all at the discretion of the director.
***
The conditions for staging the play are negotiated individually.
All the plays of Nikolai Lakutin are presented for review in open access on the official website of the author http://lakutin-n.ru the "Plays" section
Author's email Lakutin200@mail.ru
The cover photo of the play is borrowed from a free photo bank, under a Creative Commons license
