полная версия

Narsha Bulgakbaev
Learn to be happy! Confidence and Success

PRACTICAL HAPPINESS

In your life, you may have asked yourself the following questions: «What is happiness?» l and «What is the essence of happiness?» It’s like an invisible ghost that we are so eager to catch, that we want to possess, but at that moment we clearly understand (when we caught it) that happiness is meaningless («This is all that comes next, where is the continuation, and for this I tried, again we need to look for what something else?!», «I lost myself again»). Even when a person is chasing happiness, he does not fully understand, clearly and clearly, what happiness is for him. Dreams and tasks, words and actions. The cherished goal is to be happy. What is the joy of true happiness? How to be happy? The head of the genius and scientist was frozen for many centuries. According to many people, real happiness is realizing your dreams in real life (and I don’t understand where else you can realize your dreams, in the world of fantasy). Is this so? What is happiness? According to the ancient Greek philosopher Aristotle, happiness is the soul living in moral people. In Aristotle’s time, a merciful soul was considered the owner of true happiness. How is the word «Happiness» interpreted today? In many psychology textbooks, the term «happiness» is interpreted as the psychological state of a person who feels completely satisfied with his life.

We should not forget that people will never be able to experience the joy of complete happiness in this life. This is the law of the Creator. A person is always missing something. Happiness is something that does not exist now; if it does exist, we will want even more of this happiness. And those who consider themselves happy also do not have happiness, it is simply the belief that it exists. What do people desperately want now? Realization and Actualization, places in life, meaning in life.

THE INVISIBLE GHOST

Happiness is a dream. However, there is an inexplicable problem: how do dreams and desires come true, and then happiness disappears without a trace?! At the time when your dream comes true, the concept of happiness will remain in your heart for a certain time, but in the light of the white morning, the balloon of this powerful concept of happiness will shrink, and every day the balloon will shrink faster until it bursts. But in fact, a person performs certain actions and brings joy to his peasant farm in which he participates. But no matter what innovations and technologies are created in this life, all this cannot make a person happy forever (in this life). Everyone has their own definition of happiness. Happiness for most people is basically:

– Health

– Family and love

– Self improvement

– Money and property

Although there are other prerequisites for defining happiness, the main meaning is explained in the next point – each person’s own happiness. So, if a child and a family are happiness for you, then you will do everything to start a family and have children. And if happiness for you is self-realization, then you will have to work hard to find the flavor of life for you by focusing on your goals and interests. A wide range of financial opportunities, money and property, there is well-being, but all this is external happiness. However, if you have achieved something externally, you will probably be glad that you will never lose this joy. But you must know that even joy does not allow you to be completely happy throughout your life. Sooner or later you may forget where you left your outer joy, and you will have to find it, otherwise you will feel bad, and if you don’t find it, then you will need to look for other sources of joy. But these sources may be limited.

There is a group of people who measure the path of happiness by the growth of the world and the peak of spiritual maturity. Such people will study a lot, prepare in all aspects of practice and want to improve their spiritual world every time. According to the above, there are two ways to achieve happiness. External form of happiness. In this report, a person’s happiness is the external world. He always tries to have a good family, a good friend, and a wide range of financial opportunities. The same person, in turn, considers himself truly happy, but not for long. This is an example of a small child who bought and gave a new toy. At first he was happy about the toy and was lucky to have it. But after a while he forgets about it and wants a new toy. Giving happiness for a short time… Internal type of happiness. Growing up inside. In this selection, a person can grow spiritually, work to increase the maturity of his personality and feel happy more consistently. Most people agree with the idea that owning or mastering a new substance is a feeling of happiness that doesn’t last long. And it will be forgotten very quickly. But there is one big but, the internal type of happiness does not help us to be happy in the present, because everything that is in the outside world will irritate us psychologically, especially since in this state we cannot completely give up money and property, friends and relatives, completely renouncing the outside world. This means that both external and internal types of happiness do not always guarantee a happy life. Let’s ask a natural question: «What do we need to do?» Do we really go through life in this long search for happiness? Let’s stop there and return to the concept of happiness. What do people really want when they think about happiness? The secret of artificial happiness for humans. Happiness is a personal matter for everyone. Regardless of what a person does or does not want to do, he can think and come up with artificial happiness for himself, this already depends on your creativity. At the same time, happiness itself also depends on environmental conditions.

And if one of these environmental conditions does not suit us the way we want, then it will be difficult. The more we want to achieve happiness, the more difficult it will be for us to become or it will be more correct that the more we think about happiness, the longer we will think about our unhappiness. Happiness is not something we really want, it’s something we really need. So what do we need? Work, home, car, travel… The answer is very simple – we need to find something that will give us confidence in the future, give us an explanation of what is happening in ourselves, and attract cohesion. If we learn to understand ourselves, feel and live with today, here, now… We need to study ourselves right here and now. We need to study who we really are, what our place in this world is, what our purpose in life is and why we came to this planet. By living Intuitively, we will eventually be able to find the happiness that we have. And this happiness is established without any connection with external conditions. Happiness will always be with us, and we will live in a state where we can feel its full power. As children, we were happy without the word happiness. We were very happy as children (without explanation). We were happy with life and nature, and we were happy to be surrounded. Then, as we grew older and began to study and work, we entered the world of unhappy adults, consisting of responsibilities and obligations. Like white snow, we rushed to the same place every time, and every time we melted in the warm wind. A. adults had to do as much as possible to survive. According to the well-known principle: «Plant trees, build houses and raise children.» Adults will be preoccupied with rivalry and competition over property and money: buying a car, building a career, becoming rich, etc.

We do not notice the beauty of the world that surrounds us in the struggle under the sun, we ignore people, we forget the voices of birds, in other words, we miss many moments in our beautiful life, without seeing many moments. The joys of the moment often make us truly happy. Time moves forward without stopping and the language of the clock always moves forward, relatives and friends pass by without even hearing how close and dear they are to us, children grow up without attention and without the necessary parental care, without parental education, without the warmth of relatives…

Remember: there is always something that others like you lack for complete happiness. Negative information about disasters, wars, murders on the pages of newspapers and television screens will complicate life. If you hear and see this news, everyone will be angry, and as a result, they will be able to imagine their lives in dark gray shadows. At this moment, negative consequences arise in our lives, many types of diseases and ailments of the soul appear. Life is a common problem and well-being gives us the comfort of life. How to correct this situation, how to establish happiness inside the home? It may seem unthinkable, but everyone should do it. Many authors of books on psychology and esotericism often draw people’s attention to the very ancient reality «Man is the Creator of his life.» The truth is that we ourselves are to blame for our mental troubles. «Anger, disunity, a sense of sin and negative emotions lead to illness and mental illness» (Louise Hay). This quote explains that according to the destructive thought system, every type of mental illness is created from one specific bad thought or negative emotion that programs our blind feelings to negative scenario of our own life. The thought system as an example consists of awakening flowers (positive, positive thoughts and emotions) and weeds (negative, unnecessary thoughts and emotions). Since we consider ourselves the Creator (creator) of our own lives, then perhaps we need to come up with a good idea instead of a negative one? Listen to the wit (doesn’t help), watch some great humor or watch some comedy show? (won’t help) What should you never do? You cannot be separated from loved ones. Remember, they also need your attention, they need to see your love and care. Share your joy with them or just share your problems. Believe me, after this you will feel better. If at this very moment you have no one, don’t mourn. You can get yourself a cat or a dog (the moment you see their attempt at life, all your grief will be forgotten). Believe me, they fill your free time in paint. Appreciate every moment of your life, it’s not a problem. Look out the window and see the beauty of the world around you! The bright blue summer sky, the creaking of leaves, the ashes of rivers and lakes, raindrops, white snow – this luxury is truly a cure for depression and stress in our country. You can take advantage of any moment and feel like a happy person.

LIFESTYLE

Scientists at Harvard University shared the results of a large study that lasted about 85 years. His main goal is to find out what kind of lifestyle happy people will lead throughout their lives. The study consisted of several studies: he studied 268 people who graduated from Harvard between 1939 and 1944. Participants in the study regularly filled out a questionnaire and provided information about their health. In the later stages of life, all participants are divided into two groups: happy and unhappy. Scientists have observed 7 different characteristics of people who feel happy and healthy in old age. Research has shown that these daily habits lead to a happier and better life:

– No smoking;

– Don’t drink;

– Keep weight in shape;

– Time for daily exercise;

– Openness to new knowledge. «Invest in knowledge and new experiences throughout your life,» say scientists.

– Adopt an adaptive problem-solving style. This means finding and applying the right conflict resolution techniques.

– Maintaining stable, long-term relationships of friendship and love.

«It is possible to grow old and be happy and healthy. We can control our weight, physical activity, education, tobacco and alcohol, and everything related to our health and intelligence (psychological and somatic).»

There will be moments in every person’s life when he realizes that something needs to be changed once or even more than once. However, we may be terrified of the possibility that change will make our lives even worse. A perfect understanding of what is wrong in your life is the best motivation (stimulation) in order to change something for the better. For two reasons that prevent you from being successful and happy, haste and not knowing your true nature. He belongs. From the constant rush to the same place and the daily bustle, do not forget about the really important things. Think positively and constantly control your thoughts. The rush starts in our minds. When thought (inner word), outer word and action come together, a result arises – consequences. This may be an agreement with oneself or a complete internal confrontation. So learn to think positively, correctly. Happiness is not a finish line, because there is no finish line, the distance is endless. This is distance, and there is happiness. Sometimes it can be a very difficult but very interesting race. Don’t be afraid to do good. Perhaps you noticed that the rule «Love the Middle Like Himself» is strictly observed. If you think about something good and do it, you get something good in return. When a person makes something in favor of his inner world, suddenly useful books, interesting people appear, and it seems that the whole world helps you. Live from now. Learn to enjoy this moment. Do not think only about the future: «I will be happy when I become a mom,» «I will be happy if I bother it» and «I will be happy when I have a lot of money.» It doesn’t matter, happiness is a process, and not the result. Rejoice in positive things in your daily life, even if they are insignificant. Get rid of garbage in time. «Filter» received information, put it in the presence of negative information from the environment, which absorbs everything. Stop interfering in the affairs of people who bring negative into your life. Instead, chat more with people who give you energy, benefit and try to do what you really like. Do not leave your dreams for tomorrow. You refuse a business that brings you joy, but does not bring money. All people need a share of joy, and material things do not always bring joy. So do not be afraid to dream, take the time to engage in more responsible things, instead of the empty time of time on cases that only false short-term feeling of joy. Find a mentor. Mentor is the one who will motivate you. It can be a psychologist, coach, etc. He should always be ready to help and give advice. For example, yoga, deal with meditation. Eastern experience will help you listen to yourself. With it, you can find the internal balance and understand what happiness is for you. And gradually you will become for yourself to teachers. Happiness is a moment. We call moments of happiness, fun and pride. Let’s determine together at what point a person’s mood improves and its types. Pride. When we complete a difficult task or help someone, our chest fills with pride. Man works tirelessly to achieve pride. On the way, he may be nervous and experience various difficulties. But the end result makes you forget about all this in an instant. Close relationships with others. A psychiatrist and professor at Harvard Medical School conducted a study and stated that relationships play an important role in our lives. «A good relationship with the environment affects our health. Of course, a person must take care of his body. But being in control of relationships is also taking care of yourself.» At the TED conference, he stated that a person who is able to build close relationships with family, friends and community is much happier. Satisfaction. It is also important to be able to show respect and gratitude for your day. But being happy with everything does not mean giving up something else. It’s about being grateful for what you have now and having faith in the future. Satisfaction brings inner comfort and positivity. Therefore, it will be much easier to move forward. Have fun. Being an adult is not only about working and solving family problems. If we have free time, we can be found in front of the TV or in front of the computer. But having fun means relaxing in nature, going to dance parties, visiting people. It gives joy to life and helps to interact with other people. Plus, having fun gives you motivation for the next day. Gratitude. English writer and philosopher Gilbert Keith Chesterton said: «I believe that gratitude is the most important expression of human thinking. Gratitude is double happiness.» Gratitude is an accessible and simple way to increase your happiness. We like to see the failures in our lives as a result of the various circumstances surrounding us by people or fate, but we decide happy or unhappy our personal life, making a daily choice. If you want to achieve more in life and change it, what choice do you need to do? We read another motivational article or a book and begin to talk about how perfectly to improve, reach new vertices or climb the career ladder. Unfortunately, in most cases everything remains only a story, only a few follow the read and try to change themselves for the better. Try to take care of yourself, forget about Lena and do something good every day. Find a hobby that gives you real joy, and communicate with a lot of people. Choose a good attitude towards people. On our life path we meet different people. Someone helps us believe in your hand, someone teaches something new, someone can support in a difficult moment, and someone does not see and wound. No matter how angry at someone, do not answer evil on evil. Even if you lie, and you choose the truth. Play according to the rules, even if you are trying to deceive. Do not gossip about someone, even if he gossip about you. Always remember that you are kind. Believe that good wins evil. As a result, you will be happier than a person trying to hurt you. Because there is nothing better than good sleep and clean conscience. Choose life without bad habits. To get rid of bad habits that make harm to your health and life in general, you must first make a clear decision to abandon them. Start today, not tomorrow, on Monday or after the New Year. Take yourself in hand and tell me: «From today, I will not smoke / drink alcohol / right to eat / sleep well at night.» Do not try to get rid of all bad habits right away. Start with one. Do you want to lose weight? Go to the gym. Do you have a stomach hurt? Start with proper nutrition. Do you have debts? Start gradually postpone the money to get rid of all debts. Later, everything begins to change gradually. Choose compactness in your work. If you think that you will be tired at work only because of the large number of tasks, you are mistaken. You may not be able to organize your workflow correctly. Sit down and analyze to understand what you’re doing wrong: How much time are you spending on tasks that need to be done? If you want to organize your work effectively, make a list of tasks that you need to complete that day every morning. Paint the essential ones one color and the non-urgent ones another. You will realize that if you learn to use your work time correctly and not waste time on unnecessary things, you will have some free time. Then you leave work on time, don’t bring home unfinished tasks, have time for hobbies and spend more time with relatives or friends. Choose the right attitude towards work. If you look at work only as a means of earning money, you are making a big mistake. Think about it this way: no matter where you work or what you do, your job is to provide value to other people. If you go out of your way to help those around you, you will enjoy your responsibilities. Choose a balance between spiritual, emotional and physical health. A happy life is based on spiritual, emotional and physical health. You can enjoy every day only when these three components are in balance. Therefore, try to develop spiritually, but do not forget to devote time to physical preparation and emotional well-being. Choose more time for your loved ones. Family is the most important thing in every person’s life. A career cannot give you the warmth that your loved ones can give you. So try to spend more time with them. Visit your parents’ house more often, have dinner with your parents and children, and hang out with friends in your free time. They will give you wonderful moments that will make your life happy. You will never regret this choice.

FIFTEEN ENEMIES

Fifteen enemies sometimes seem to be in life not enough to be happy. We feel happy if we have a house, a car, a diploma, or better work. Many people will miss the happy moments when they can do it all. But first it is necessary to get away from these things so that life becomes much easier and joyful. Expect something from others. Everyone has a different understanding of the world, God, politicians, love, happiness and money. Do not look at all people as if they all have to be like you. Please accept the fact that people are different. Do not expect from surrounding understanding, loyalty, help. Do not be discouraged if something goes not according to plan. Because it’s just your plan, and no one must help you, you yourself must learn to help. No one knows what will happen tomorrow if today you have a lot of surroundings, then you leave you or health, you will leave you. Simply, keep good relations with those people who bring you benefit. Material dreams. In this advantage and lack of modern world. In social networks, all people tend to show their financial position. On the one hand, you can get motivation, looking at people who have a house and who travel around the world. But, on the other hand, some people miss the real happy moments when they want to dream financially. Dependence and slave consciousness. Get rid of any kind of addiction. It may be alcohol, drugs, gambling, psychological addiction from another person and dependence on gadgets. A person suffering to addiction is thinking as a slave, is a victim of false «happiness.» Cheat yourself and others. Stop lying. Start with yourself. You will not be able to understand what actually makes you happy until you look right for the truth (even if it is negative). You do not change the reality, although you can feel joy in my head. Cheating is a protective reaction that turns into pathological. So it is necessary to be treated. Communicate with toxic people. Your surroundings will make a strong impression on you. If there are toxic people around you, which will humiliate you, your self-esteem will fall, and you will feel unhappy. Five signs of toxic friends: no respect, trolling, gossip, accusations, manipulations. Sometimes it seems that everything is good, but there are times when you can be alarmed and saddened. Some habits prevent you from living in a state of delight. Compare yourself with others. A constant comparison of oneself with another leads to a decrease in self-confidence. Take yourself as you are, and pay attention to your achievements and characteristics. Do not follow your health. In order to enjoy life, it is important to have a good health. Therefore, it is necessary to pay time to physical exertion, start using healthy food and regulate the emotional situation. Inability to say no. Sometimes you have to say no. Of course, it’s good to want to help everyone, but you have to give it up depending on the situation. Because it can negatively affect your condition and can interfere with your life. Perfectionism. Striving for perfection can prevent you from enjoying life. You are not a robot, you are a human. Therefore, if you make a mistake, do not scold yourself or relax, if you are tired, do not start throwing everything at once. Putting off what’s important. People often put off dreams and goals for the sake of some useless, harmful activities. But we must live now. Find time for what you have long dreamed of and set a goal. Everyone feels happiness in their own way. Some people cannot imagine happiness without real things – an apartment and a car, while others associate it with a certain social status. Some people determine this by the state of their soul. You are putting your life on hold. You want to decorate your home to your liking, but you put it off, saying, «I’ll do it when I have my own home.» You want to make a lot of money, but you say that «everything will happen when I find my dream job.» Years pass, but nothing changes in your life. It’s as if you are denying yourself the opportunity to live your life now and postponing it to an unknown future. In the same way, some people think that they will be happy at certain points in life. For example: after leaving, after collecting a certain amount, after the birth of a child, or after moving to the city. However, one of them may not be feeling happy when it’s done. You don’t appreciate what you have. When we look at photographs of adolescence or youth, we perceive ourselves in them completely differently. During this time, you may be unhappy with yourself: you may not like your hairstyle, body shape, or other things. However, looking at these photos, you may not be able to remember what you didn’t like or why. A person perceives the things that he has, material or intangible (family, friends, hobbies), as something simple that should be. However, it is important to remember that each of these factors is a key contributor to your happiness. You want to live someone else’s life, not your own. Nowadays, people are influenced by social networks and famous bloggers who show their lives. Therefore, many people have the mistaken opinion that it is these specific things, trips, parties that bring happiness. Think carefully about these things: do they really make you happy or are there other things that make you happy that are cheaper and more accessible? Your brain doesn’t understand what it is now. Every day consists of positive and happy moments. But not everyone can see them the same way. Most people don’t care about their feelings and don’t enjoy the present. You will have to work on yourself to learn this. Here’s how you feel right now: make it a tradition to write down 5—10 positive things that happened throughout the day in the evening, when your breakfast was delicious, you listened to positive music, etc. This way you will learn to notice the good around you. You are afraid to make mistakes. A person learns to live by making mistakes. So try to create new things, make mistakes and move forward again. However, you don’t have to be wrong twice. Draw conclusions and learn to move on. There will be no repeating mistakes unless you allow them to.

FIVE IMPORTANT QUESTIONS

Sometimes people live for a long time with the feeling that the meaning of life is gone and nothing great is happening. If these ideas bother you, try asking yourself the following questions. Why do I sometimes feel uncomfortable? To get rid of the problem, you need to determine what motivates the discomfort. Triggers often work against us, but if you can identify and analyze them, you can significantly improve the quality of your life. To do this, try to focus on your thoughts and remind yourself of the most unpleasant things that have happened to you recently. Then you will be able to find out what state you have been in in recent times and who was next to you. Look for episodes of depression (low mood) and mania (high mood) from the past. Try to find out the reasons for your mood swings. What is my environment? When triggers are reached, it is determined whether their occurrence is associated with real people. If so, ask yourself how much you need these people to be in your life. Of course, we can’t get rid of all the people who give us bad things. For example, this could be a colleague or close relative. But you can plan your day so that you talk to him as little as possible. Also, don’t take everyone’s word for granted. Think about your surroundings. Are there people around you who think negatively (harmful environment)? Join an environment that is constantly evolving, that is not afraid to change, that wants to explore something new. What interests me? You can’t leave your favorite hobbies aside from time to time. Because doing what you love improves your mood and helps you get rid of negative thoughts. So try to find time and do as much as possible with what you love. How is my relationship with my parents?. Typically, people who fail to overcome their childhood grievances become depressed or dissatisfied with their lives as adults. Do you have a good relationship with your parents and have you managed to throw out all your grievances? If you understand that you are unable to overcome childhood trauma, you need to work hard with yourself or with a specialist. What changes do I want? Most people will try to answer this question because they will not think about the negative aspects of life, they will think about the positive changes. However, you need to think about what changes will improve your quality of life and make you truly feel better. Set new goals for yourself. This way you evaluate your life and look at it differently.

START CHANGE WITH YOURSELF

Stick to what you say. Over time, no one will trust people who do not keep their word. Always try to do what you say. It is not so difficult. Show your compassion. The world doesn’t just revolve around you. Your dreams and desires are not more important than others. Don’t just think about yourself, show compassion when you need it. This helps to understand and accept others.

Don’t take up other people’s time. Time is important for everyone. So avoid being late everywhere. If you want to be good, respect and value other people’s time. Be responsible. If something isn’t going the way you think it should, take a look at what you’re doing without immediately blaming others. It is not weakness to admit that you have done something wrong. People often take offense at the words or actions of others. However, you do not exist in the actions of others. What they do is a reflection of who they are. Stop taking everything for granted. Then your life will become easier. Think carefully before you say anything.