Come sit on my knee and tell me here, Polly, my dear, Polly, my dear, What do you mean to do this year?
I mean to be good the whole year long, And never do anything careless or wrong; I mean to learn all my lessons right, And do my sums, if I sit up all night. I mean to keep all my frocks so clean, Nurse never will say I'm "not fit to be seen." I mean not to break even one of my toys, And I never, oh! never will make any noise. In short, Uncle Ned, as you'll very soon see, The best little girl in the world I shall be.
December 31
Come sit on my knee and let me hear, Polly, my dear, Polly, my dear, What you have done in the course of the year.
Oh dear! Uncle Ned, oh dear! and oh dear! I'm afraid it has not been a very good year. For somehow my sums would come out wrong, And somehow my frocks wouldn't stay clean long. And somehow I've often been dreadfully cross, And somehow I broke my new rocking-horse. And somehow Nurse says I have made such a noise, I might just as well have been one of the boys. In short, Uncle Ned, I very much fear You must wait for my goodness another year.
WHAT THE ROBINS SING IN THE MORNING
Wake! wake! children, wake! Here we're singing for your sake, Chirrup! chirrup! chirrup! chee! Sweet a song as sweet can be.
Rise! rise! children, rise! Shake the poppies from your eyes. Sweet! sweet! chirrup! tweet! Morning blossoms at your feet.
Song and sweetness, dawn and dew, All are waiting now for you. Wake! wake! children, wake! Here we're singing for your sake.
THE EVE OF THE GLORIOUS FOURTH
I
Robby and Bobby and Billy and Ned, Philip and Peter and Guy, They vowed, every one, they'd have glorious fun On the glorious Fourth of July. They spent all their money on trumpets and drums, On fish-horns and pistols and guns, On elephant crackers (which they pronounced "whackers"), On toffee, torpedoes, and buns.
II
Robby and Bobby and Billy and Ned, Philip and Peter and Guy, They said with delight, "We will sit up all night, To make ready for Fourth of July. We will beat on our drums till the constable comes, And then we will hasten away. We will toot the gay horn till the coming of morn, The morn of the glorious day."
III
Robby and Bobby and Billy and Ned, Philip and Peter and Guy, They made such a noise that the other small boys With envy were ready to die. They made such a din that the neighbors within With fury were ready to choke, With rage at the drumming and strumming and humming, The pistols and powder and smoke.
IV
Robby and Bobby and Billy and Ned, Philip and Peter and Guy, They thought 'twould be best for a moment to rest, And their toffee and buns for to try. On the steps of a house they began to carouse, And they shouted and shrieked in their glee, As they fired their guns and devoured their buns In a manner both frolic and free.
V
Robby and Bobby and Billy and Ned, Philip and Peter and Guy, Ah! nothing they saw of the opening door, Nothing knew of the peril so nigh. A horrid great man with a watering-can Was standing behind them so still, And suddenly down on each curly crown Its contents he poured with a will.
VI
Robby and Bobby and Billy and Ned, Philip and Peter and Guy, With squeaks and with squeals did they take to their heels, While their enemy after did fly. And he beat them with sticks, and he kicked them with kicks, And he thumped on their heads with the can, And half-way up the street he pursued them so fleet, Still thumping their heads as he ran.
VII
Robby and Bobby and Billy and Ned, Philip and Peter and Guy, They said, every one, that it wasn't much fun Getting ready for Fourth of July. They crept to their beds and they laid down their heads, And they slept till the sun was on high, And when they awaked, so sorely they ached, That they just could do nothing but cry.
THE DANDY CAT
To Sir Green-eyes Grimalkin de Tabby de Sly His mistress remarked one day, "I'm tormented, my cat, both by mouse and by rat: Come rid me of them, I pray!
"For though you're a cat of renowned descent, And your kittenhood's long been gone, Yet never a trace of the blood of your race In battle or siege you've shown."
Sir Green-eyes Grimalkin de Tabby de Sly Arose from his downy bed. He washed himself o'er, from his knightly paw To the top of his knightly head.
And he curled his whiskers, and combed his hair, And put on his perfumed gloves; And his sword he girt on, which had never been drawn Save to dazzle the eyes of his loves.
And when he had cast one admiring glance On the looking-glass tall and fair, To the pantry he passed; but he stood aghast, For lo! the pantry was bare!
The pickles, the cookies, the pies were gone! And naught remained on the shelf Save the bone of a ham, which lay cold and calm, The ghost of its former self.
Sir Green-eyes Grimalkin stood sore dismayed, And he looked for the mice and rats. But they, every one, had been long since gone Far, far from the reach of cats.
For while he was donning his satin pelisse, And his ribbons and laces gay, They had finished their feast, without hurry the least, And had tranquilly trotted away.
The mistress of Green-eyes Grimalkin de Sly, A woman full stern was she. She came to the door, and she rated him sore When the state of the case she did see.
She grasped him, spite of his knightly blood, By the tip of his knightly tail; His adornments she stripped, and his body she dipped Three times in the water-pail.
She plunged him thrice 'neath the icy flood, Then turned him out-doors to dry; And terror and cold on his feelings so told, That he really was like to die.
And now in this world 'twould be hard to find, Although you looked low and high, A cat who cares less for the beauties of dress Than Sir Green-eyes Grimalkin de Sly.
A PARTY
On Willy's birthday, as you see, These little boys have come to tea. But, oh! how very sad to tell! They have not been behaving well. For ere they took a single bite, They all began to scold and fight.
The little boy whose name was Ned, He wanted jelly on his bread; The little boy whose name was Sam, He vowed he would have damson jam; The little boy whose name was Phil Said, "I'll have honey! Yes– I – WILL!!"
BUT —
The little boy whose name was Paul, While they were quarrelling, ate it all.
JUMBO JEE
There were some kings, in number three, Who built the tower of Jumbo Jee. They built it up to a monstrous height, At eleven o'clock on a Thursday night.
They built it up for forty miles, With mutual bows and pleasing smiles; And then they sat on the edge to rest, And partook of lunch with a cheerful zest.
And first they ate of the porkly pie, And wondered why they had built so high; And next they drank of the ginger wine, Which gave their noses a regal shine.
They drank to the health of Jumbo Jee, Until they could neither hear nor see. They drank to the health of Jumbo Land, Until they could neither walk nor stand.
They drank to the health of Jumbo Tower Until they really could drink no more; And then they sank in a blissful swoon, And flung their crowns at the rising moon.
AN INDIAN BALLAD
Whopsy Whittlesey Whanko Whee, Howly old, growly old Indian he, Lived on the hills of the Mungo-Paws, With all his pappooses and all his squaws. There was Wah-wah-bocky, the Blue-nosed Goose, And Ching-gach-gocky, the Capering Moose: There was Pecksy Wiggin, and Squaw-pan too, But the fairest of all was Michiky Moo. Michiky Moo, the Savory Tart, Pride of Whittlesey Whanko's heart; Michiky Moo, the Cherokee Pie, Apple of Whittlesey Whanko's eye. Whittlesey Whanko loved her so That the other squaws did with envy glow; And each said to the other, "Now, what shall we do To spoil the beauty of Michiky Moo?" "We'll lure her away to the mountain top, And there her head we will neatly chop." "We'll wile her away to the forest's heart, And shoot her down with a poisoned dart." "We'll lead her away to the river-side, And there she shall be the Manito's bride." "Oh! one of these things we will surely do, And we'll spoil the beauty of Michiky Moo." "Michiky Moo, thou Cherokee Pie, Away with me to the mountain high!" "Nay, my sister, I will not roam. I'm safer and happier here at home." "Michiky Moo, thou Savory Tart, Away with me to the forest's heart!" "Nay! my sister, I will not go; I fear the dart of some hidden foe." "Michiky Moo, old Whittlesey's pride, Away with me to the river-side!" "Nay! my sister, for fear I fall! And wouldst thou come if thou heardst me call?" "Now choose thee, choose thee thy way of death! For soon thou shalt draw thy latest breath! We all have sworn that this day we'll see The last, proud Michiky Moo, of thee!" Whittlesey Whanko, hidden near, Each and all of these words did hear. He summoned his braves, all painted for war, And gave them in charge each guilty squaw: "Take Wah-wah-bocky, the Blue-nosed Goose; Take Ching-gach-gocky, the Capering Moose; Take Peeksy Wiggin, and Squaw-pan too, And leave me alone with my Michiky Moo. This one away to the mountain top, And there her head ye shall neatly chop; This one away to the forest's heart, And shoot her down with a poisoned dart; This one away to the river-side, And there she shall be the Manito's bride; Away with them all, the woodlands through! For I'll have no squaw save Michiky Moo." Away went the braves, without question or pause, And they soon put an end to the guilty squaws. They pleasantly smiled when the deed was done, Saying, "Ping-ko-chanky! oh! isn't it fun!" And then they all danced the Buffalo dance, And capered about with ambiguous prance, While they drank to the health of the lovers so true, Bold Whittlesey Whanko and Michiky Moo.
THE EGG
Oh! how shall I get it, how shall I get it, — A nice little new-laid egg? My grandmamma told me to run to the barn-yard, And see if just one I could beg.
"Moolly-cow, Moolly-cow, down in the meadow, Have you any eggs, I pray?" The Moolly-cow stares as if I were crazy, And solemnly stalks away.
"Oh! Doggie, Doggie, perhaps you may have it, That nice little egg for me." But Doggie just wags his tail and capers, And never an egg has he.
"Now, Dobbin, Dobbin, I'm sure you must have one, Hid down in your manger there." But Dobbin lays back his ears and whinnies, With "Come and look, if you dare!"
"Piggywig, Piggywig, grunting and squealing, Are you crying 'Fresh eggs for sale'?" No! Piggy, you're very cold and unfeeling, With that impudent quirk in your tail.
"You wise old Gobbler, you look so knowing, I'm sure you can find me an egg. You stupid old thing! just to say 'Gobble-gobble!' And balance yourself on one leg."
Oh! how shall I get it, how shall I get it, — That little white egg so small? I've asked every animal here in the barn-yard, And they won't give me any at all.
But after I'd hunted until I was tired, I found – not one egg, but ten! And you never could guess where they all were hidden, — Right under our old speckled hen!
WOULDN'T
She wouldn't have on her naughty bib! She wouldn't get into her naughty crib! She wouldn't do this, and she wouldn't do that, And she would put her foot in her Sunday hat.
She wouldn't look over her picture-book! She wouldn't run out to help the cook! She wouldn't be petted or coaxed or teased, And she would do exactly whatever she pleased.
She wouldn't have naughty rice to eat! She wouldn't be gentle and good and sweet! She wouldn't give me one single kiss, And pray what could we do with a girl like this?
We tickled her up, and we tickled her down, From her toddling toes to her curling crown. And we kissed her and tossed her, until she was fain To promise she wouldn't say "wouldn't" again.
WILL-O'-THE-WISP
"Will-o'-the-wisp! Will-o'-the-wisp! Show me your lantern true! Over the meadow and over the hill, Gladly I'll follow you. Never I'll murmur nor ask to rest, And ever I'll be your friend, If you'll only give me the pot of gold That lies at your journey's end."
Will-o'-the-wisp, Will-o'-the-wisp, Lighted his lantern true; Over the meadow and over the hill, Away and away he flew. And away and away went the poor little boy, Trudging along so bold, And thinking of naught but the journey's end, And the wonderful pot of gold.
Will-o'-the-wisp, Will-o'-the-wisp, Flew down to a lonely swamp; He put out his lantern and vanished away In the evening chill and damp. And the poor little boy went shivering home, Wet and tired and cold; He had come, alas! to his journey's end, But where was the pot of gold?
NONSENSE VERSES
I
Nicholas Ned, He lost his head, And put a turnip on instead; But then, ah me! He could not see, So he thought it was night, and he went to bed.
II
Ponsonby Perks, He fought with Turks, Performing many wonderful works; He killed over forty, High-minded and haughty, And cut off their heads with smiles and smirks.
III
Winifred White, She married a fright, She called him her darling, her duck, and delight; The back of his head Was so lovely, she said, It dazzled her soul and enraptured her sight.
IV
Harriet Hutch, Her conduct was such, Her uncle remarked it would conquer the Dutch: She boiled her new bonnet, And breakfasted on it, And rode to the moon on her grandmother's crutch.
AN OLD RAT'S TALE
He was a rat, and she was a rat, And down in one hole they did dwell. And each was as black as your Sunday hat, And they loved one another well.
He had a tail, and she had a tail; Both long and curling and fine. And each said, "My love's is the finest tail In the world, excepting mine!"
He smelt the cheese, and she smelt the cheese, And they both pronounced it good; And both remarked it would greatly add To the charms of their daily food.
So he ventured out and she ventured out; And I saw them go with pain. But what them befell I never can tell, For they never came back again.
TO THE LITTLE GIRL WHO WRIGGLES
Don't wriggle about any more, my dear! I'm sure all your joints must be sore, my dear! It's wriggle and jiggle, it's twist and it's wiggle, Like an eel on a shingly shore, my dear, Like an eel on a shingly shore.
Oh! how do you think you would feel, my dear, If you should turn into an eel, my dear? With never an arm to protect you from harm, And no sign of a toe or a heel, my dear, No sign of a toe or a heel?
And what do you think you would do, my dear, Far down in the water so blue, my dear, Where the prawns and the shrimps, with their curls and their crimps, Would turn up their noses at you, my dear, Would turn up their noses at you?
The crab he would give you a nip, my dear, And the lobster would lend you a clip, my dear. And perhaps if a shark should come by in the dark, Down his throat you might happen to slip, my dear, Down his throat you might happen to slip.
Then try to sit still on your chair, my dear! To your parents 'tis no more than fair, my dear. For we really don't feel like inviting an eel Our board and our lodging to share, my dear, Our board and our lodging to share.
The Forty Little Ducklings
[A story with a certain amount of truth in it.]
The forty little ducklings who lived up at the farm, They said unto each other, "Oh! the day is very warm!" They said unto each other, "Oh! the river's very cool! The duck who did not seek it now would surely be a fool."
The forty little ducklings, they started down the road; And waddle, waddle, waddle, was the gait at which they goed. The same it is not grammar, – you may change it if you choose, — But one cannot stop for trifles when inspired by the Muse.
They waddled and they waddled and they waddled on and on. Till one remarked, "Oh! deary me, where is the river gone? We asked the Ancient Gander, and he said 'twas very near. He must have been deceiving us, or else himself, I fear."
They waddled and they waddled, till no further they could go: Then down upon a mossy bank they sat them in a row. They took their little handkerchiefs and wept a little weep, And then they put away their heads, and then they went to sleep.
There came along a farmer, with a basket on his arm, And all those little duckylings he took back to the farm. He put them in their little beds, and wished them sweet repose, And fastened mustard plasters on their little webby toes.
Next day these little ducklings, they were very very ill. Their mother sent for Doctor Quack, who gave them each a pill; But soon as they recovered, the first thing that they did, Was to peck the Ancient Gander, till he ran away and hid.
THE MOUSE
I'm only a poor little mouse, Ma'am. I live in the wall of your house, Ma'am. With a fragment of cheese, And a very few peas, I was having a little carouse, Ma'am.
No mischief at all I intend, Ma'am. I hope you will act as my friend, Ma'am. If my life you should take, Many hearts it would break, And the mischief would be without end, Ma'am.
My wife lives in there, in the crack, Ma'am, She's waiting for me to come back, Ma'am. She hoped I might find A bit of a rind, For the children their dinner do lack, Ma'am.
'Tis hard living there in the wall, Ma'am, For plaster and mortar will pall, Ma'am, On the minds of the young, And when specially hung — Ry, upon their poor father they'll fall, Ma'am.
I never was given to strife, Ma'am, — (Don't look at that terrible knife, Ma'am!) The noise overhead That disturbs you in bed, 'Tis the rats, I will venture my life, Ma'am.
In your eyes I see mercy, I'm sure, Ma'am. Oh, there's no need to open the door, Ma'am. I'll slip through the crack, And I'll never come back, Oh! I'll never come back any more, Ma'am!
A VALENTINE
Oh, little loveliest lady mine! What shall I send for your valentine? Summer and flowers are far away, Gloomy old Winter is king to-day, Buds will not blow, and sun will not shine; What shall I do for a valentine?
Prithee, Saint Valentine, tell me here, Why do you come at this time o' year? Plenty of days when lilies are white, Plenty of days when sunbeams are bright; But now, when everything's dark and drear, Why do you come, Saint Valentine dear?
I've searched the gardens all through and through, For a bud to tell of my love so true; But buds are asleep, and blossoms are dead, And the snow beats down on my poor little head; So, little loveliest lady mine, Here is my heart for your valentine.
JAMIE IN THE GARDEN
How is a little boy to know About these berries all, That ripen all the summer through, From spring-time until fall?
I must not eat them till they're ripe, I know that very well; But each kind ripens differently, So how am I to tell?
Though strawberries and raspberries, When ripe, are glowing red, Red blackberries I must not touch, Mamma has lately said.
And though no one of these is fit To touch when it is green, Ripe gooseberries, as green as grass, At Grandpapa's I've seen.
And peas are green when they are ripe; Some kinds of apples too. But they're not berries; neither are These currants, it is true.
These currants, now! why, some are red, And some are brilliant green. "Don't eat unripe ones!" said Mamma. But which ones did she mean?
To disobey her would be wrong. To leave them I am loath. I really can't find out, unless — Unless I eat them both!
[He eats them both.]
SOMEBODY'S BOY (NOT MINE)
When he was up he cried to get down, And when he was in he cried to get out; And no little boy in Boston town Was ever so ready to fret and pout. Poutsy, oh! And fretsy, oh! And spend the whole day in a petsy, oh! And what shall we do to this bad little man, But scold him as hard as we possibly can!
When he was cold he cried to be warm, And when he was warm he cried to be cold; And all the morning 'twas scold and storm, And all the evening 'twas storm and scold. Stormy, oh! And scoldy, oh! And never do what he was toldy, oh! And what shall we do to this bad little man, But scold him as hard as we possibly can!
BOGY
His eyes are green and his nose is brown, His feet go up and his head goes down, And so he goes galloping through the town, The king of the Hobbledygoblins. His heels stick out and his toes stick in, He wears his mustaches upon his chin, And he glares about with a horrible grin, The king of the Hobbledygoblins.
No naughty boys can escape his eyes; He clutches them, 'spite of their tears and sighs, And away at a terrible pace he hies To his castle of Killemaneetem; There he shuts them up under lock and key, And feeds them on blacking and grasshopper tea, And if ever they try to get out, you see, Why, this is the way he'll treat 'em.
[Here Mamma may toss the little boy up in the air, or shake him, or tickle his little chin, whichever he likes best.]
Now, Johnny and Tommy, you'd better look out! All day you've done nothing but quarrel and pout, And nobody knows what it's all about, But it gives me a great deal of pain, dears. So, Johnny and Tommy, be good, I pray, Or the king will be after you some fine day, And off to his castle he'll whisk you away, And we never shall see you again, dears!
