Андрей Владимирович Устинович
Diary of a Russian soldier

Introduction

When I was 18, like all guys my age, they tried to conscript me. As a teenager, I dreamed of being a military man, I wanted to be a movie hero, participate in special operations, and if I died, then in battle, as a warrior. But over the years, I realized that something had taken me in the wrong direction, and I began to live my life to the fullest.. I evaded service in every way I knew how.

But then, at the age of 22, I was still drafted into the army, an engineering regiment.

I heard that lawlessness and harsh hazing were going on in the army, and I really thought that either they would kill me there, or I would go to prison because I myself would have to kill someone to save my life.

I decided that I would write a diary every day and when I returned home, I would publish it. Each of you will be able to find out what the life of a conscript soldier is in Russia and in the post-Soviet space as a whole.

The course of a Young fighter.

My first day in the army was November 20, 2017. Everything turned out to be completely different from what I thought.

We were gathered near the military enlistment office and taken to a unit 350 kilometers from the city. We handed over all our things, took a shower, and were given a uniform. There were no usual underpants and T-shirts. We were given 2 sets of some kind of pajamas, one thin, the other thicker, they were all torn, it is clear that the old underwear is already there. A military uniform was put on top of it. This underwear was called "beluga". This is such underwear for the winter period.

Everything seemed too formal and strict, the attitude was like to animals.

Lawlessness, as it seemed at first glance, was not there.

But I can say that the army is like a new and completely different world. New rules, new concepts, new atmosphere. What previously seemed somehow stupid and funny is the norm there and quite important for someone or something. It was really a new and wonderful world. It reminded me of the movie "avatar" when the Earthlings arrived on another planet. I was constantly stupid, like many others, I was always lost and did not know what to do, because life seemed completely new. It was necessary to constantly obey someone and for me it was wild. You can't leave there like you don't like your job, you're there for a year and a half and that's it. You're just like a puppet. We had a course for a young fighter, we studied the statutes and other legislative acts. We were forced to constantly do the cleaning, straighten the beds, wash the floors and shave regularly.

Shaving was stressful for me, I never shaved outside, I had a beard. And here, after each shave, there was terrible irritation, and there was very little time for shaving, and the quality was demanded.

I didn't keep a diary for the first 2 weeks, because I didn't understand what was going on there at all, we were always in a hurry and there was always not enough time.

Our daily routine was something like this:

6:00 a.m. rise

6:10 building for charging

6:40 the cleaning starts. Make the beds, wash the barracks, level all the beds by thread, wash yourself. 8 washbasins for 100 people.

7:00 building for breakfast

8:00 the beginning of classes (theory and sometimes practice. They learned the rules, went to the drill and a little bit of combat tactics).

13:00 lunch

14:00 classes. We learned a lot in the classroom. It was necessary to memorize the text verbatim. It was torture.

18:00 dinner

19:00 we are filing 1 and in general we are preparing for tomorrow.

20:30 news viewing

21:20 evening walk. They walk in the army in formation and sing songs.

21:40 evening verification 2

22:00 lights out

Meal. There was always enough food, except for dinner. The food was not greasy and half an hour after eating, you always wanted to eat no matter how much you ate. There was also little meat, only bones, as the cooks stole the meat, and their leadership too, and only bones reached the soldiers. For dinner, 100 grams of mashed potatoes and a piece of fish, 30 grams so. It's good that many people didn't like fish and gave away their piece.

Heming1 is to sew a piece of white cloth to your collar, in the morning its cleanliness and the quality of fastening are always checked, it is very important, although in fact it is nonsense.

What was it even invented for? In wartime, you usually don't have time to wash your face and you walk around dirty. Your collar becomes dirty and hard and begins to rub your neck, pimples, redness, discomfort appear. But in peacetime, when we wash 2 times a day, this is not necessary, but all the same, great attention is paid to this and the quality of the "filing" is always checked.

Verification 2 has been a sacred ritual since the war. This is how the number of soldiers who survived the battle was checked. Now they check the availability of personnel, who is on duty, who is sick, who is on vacation. This can be said to be a roll call. The attendant calls your last name, and you say "I". Verification is carried out in the morning and evening.

December 3, 2017

Today I came out of the squad1, I was a day officer in company 2. There were 2 idiots in the outfit with me. 2 inspections came to us, and I, as the only normal person, stood on the bedside table for 4 hours and waited for the inspectors. It was difficult.

After lights out, we went to wash the toilets and the barracks in general. They left one on the bedside table3 and the two of them went to clean up. My partner turned out to be lazy. After 2 hours, I had almost everything cleaned up. Yes, for a long time, since I was doing everything alone while my partner was doing some bullshit. I was immediately sent to bed, and my partner was left to teach the duties of the day. The third one went to sleep too. While we were cleaning, he learned the duties on the bedside table and was able to answer them. It's customary here to know them by heart. After all, if you don't know your duties, then how can you fulfill them? But to demand to tell them verbatim is stupid, the main thing is to understand.

The guy who stayed to learn the duties was dumb and taught them for 3 hours standing at attention. Thanks to this, I was able to sleep longer. During the day, there were many calls from other posts, such as "headquarters" and "checkpoint". The company officer on duty was in a bad mood and constantly said what a moron I was. He is the same soldier as me, only he has served for a year. It was Sunday, the day when they give out phones and you can call your family. Just like that, soldiers don't go there with phones in everyday life. But still, I was able to communicate with my family and even cried. I missed you. I have a very bad headache and I want to sleep. I'm waiting for when I can finally go to bed.

Outfit 1-this can be said to be on duty. You step on it at 17 o'clock and stay on it for a day. Depending on which outfit, the tasks are different. No more than four hours of sleep are allowed in each outfit. Well, you can not sleep at all. There were 3 types of them in total, and I will tell you about each one in the process.

Day-to-day by company or battalion is a type of outfit. 3 people take over this outfit. The duty officer (chief) and 2 day workers (subordinates). On the course of a young fighter, 3 day soldiers take over, not 2. The task of the day soldier is to stand on the bedside table at the entrance to the barracks and next to the weapons storage room and greet everyone who comes in and, if necessary, call the duty officer. It's very difficult to stand in one place for a long time. My back and legs are starting to hurt. The second day watchman must always put things in order or carry out other orders from the duty officer or management. They sleep for a maximum of 4 hours in turn. There should always be someone on the bedside table, even at night.

The day table3 is such a square, in my case made of plastic, on which the day table should stand at attention and greet everyone who comes in. In some companies, there is no bedside table as such, this word simply denotes the place of the day, but in our case it was constructively allocated ..

December 4, 2017.

There's a lot of snow today. I'm already involved in the service and I don't sweat in the morning. Sadness used to cover melancholy. I'm also used to dressing 100 times a day. Initially, it was infuriating. A crowd of people dress in a narrow space, the buttons in the pea jacket are very tight and rub their fingers. The drill classes were excellent. The mood is also probably due to the fact that I called my family yesterday. There were also fire training classes, disassembled the machine gun and prepared it for battle. They loaded, lay down in a fighting position and fired air.

December 5, 2017.

Everything was fine in the morning, but there was little time for washing. But I managed to do it anyway.. I've been pressing my temples all day, and I have a headache. We passed the standards in the evening. I pulled myself up 20 times and ran a kilometer, and now my throat hurts. Also today, they gave out a helmet, a grenade pouch, unloading and a gas mask, and a raincoat tent. Everything is old, I think even from Soviet times. By the way, I have a 1976 machine gun.

December 6, 2017.

We went to the shooting range. A couple of rounds at the target and a couple at the flip target. He shot very well. One of the best, well, he threw a training grenade.

The way back and forth in a warm bus, it was possible to sleep, fortunately.

December 7.

Nothing was ordinary, there was a drill in the rain, the machine gun rusted and had to be cleaned. It wasn't difficult for me, I even liked it. The machine is a cool thing. It was the guy from my platoon's birthday today. I ate sweets and was stunned. I haven't eaten sweets for 2 weeks.

Well, at the end of the day, 2 guys went out for a smoke without permission, we were forced to walk 5 rounds in formation. Is it fun? We're a team.. We have not walked so much in the entire KMB.

December 8th.

The morning did not go well, at my morning inspection, the commander found sweets that I had been saving and devoured in front of everyone. I tried to hide them, but they fell out 2 times.. You didn't notice the first time, but you understand the second time..

The parcel also arrived, I was very pleased, especially since I followed it outside the territory of the unit. It was very cool. The citizen is like some completely different world.. Those who were in the army understand me.

December 9th.

Saturday.

Every Saturday is a day of cleaning and baths. A sauna is just a trip to the shower. The army washes once a week. The foreman assigned people to clean the toilets and the barracks, I was carried away. Lights out on Saturday an hour later, at 23:00

December 10th.

The weather is great, and so is the mood. We watch TV, all sorts of patriotic programs. In short, all day in front of the TV and most importantly talking with family.

December 11th.

I got a letter from my parents again. Very pleasant. Today, one of the most normal guys found an unwashed mug in his bedside table. How could he fly in like that? I also came up with the idea to have a lucid dream. I tried to do it in civilian life, but it didn't work out. And here as entertainment… Why not?

There was a drill, our commander immediately conducted it, and then he put a sergeant in charge, and he left. And he decided to fuck us up as much as possible. My ligaments hurt in my leg. He must have felt the power. And later, a check came and checked the drill. So this sergeant can't walk himself, and the inspector told him: "We'll fire you if you don't learn to walk."

I'm waiting the next morning to see the condition of my legs.

December 12.

Time seemed to slow down again, and the realization that you were here for a long time reappeared. Everything is fucked up, and I haven't even taken the oath yet. It is sad to see buses passing by the windows of the barracks. I want to sit in it and go about my business.

I complained of pain in my leg, I hope they will give me an exemption from the drill and during these days my leg will recover before the oath.

Today they tested the drill walking skill again, praised us. Is that why there is so much combat? This is because we are preparing for the oath. It will be necessary to walk beautifully in front of a huge crowd of people.

And we also had a good walk in the evening, in the truest sense of the word. Slowly.

December 13th.

While everything is as usual, the heel begins to heal. Yesterday I received a letter again, on 4 pages with sketches. I wrote a reply and hope that he will arrive before the oath. There is also some kind of diarrhea, I took a shit 5 times, with water.

I will not fool the elder's head today, since the check came anyway and puzzled him.

December 14th.

It was a good and cheerful morning, I didn't even expect to get enough sleep. I washed the floor at the disposal. I'm waiting for the doctor to come…

as a result, he gave me 7 tablets of charcoal. And he said that the pills might be delivered in the evening. And again the drill. Horror, in the course of a young fighter, they don't teach anything except how to walk in formation. My legs hurt so much that we are walking worse and worse, and I think we will go even worse on the oath. I wanted to go to the payphone, I did everything quickly, and there was a queue. Very sorry. A payphone is the only way to call your family on a weekday.

December 15th.

I shaved properly for the first time this morning. Efficiently, quickly and without cuts. It's just that I never shaved before the army, only at the age of 17 and then with an electric razor. Now the drill is back, there will be a dress rehearsal of the oath. Ice, rain, then snow.

December 16, 2017 Day 27. The oath. Everything was going well. When I saw my family, the smile did not leave my face. I thought I'd cry for joy, but no. I was gladder than ever. We marched along the mound of glory well. And when we went to hand over things and get furloughs, people stood on the sides, took pictures of us, filmed us, waved their hands. At one point, I even felt like a hero returning from the war, there was a feeling that now you will go home and everything will be fine as never before.

But in fact, you're a sucker who just took the oath, all this is just the beginning and most likely your life will only get worse. I was hoping that everything would be fine.

When we met with my family, I tried to give them all as much time as possible and wanted to be with them as much as possible, but I realized that they were still waiting for the road back, which is 250 kilometers. We need to leave as early as possible while it's still light. When it was time to say goodbye, I cried, and so did my mother. Even my father's eyes turned red. Upon our return, we threw food into the communal and ate with the whole battalion. I only ate fruits, I didn't want anything else. We went to bed, got up at 2:30 at night and couldn't sleep.

December 17th.

I'm sleepy because I haven't slept all night. Today we went to the part where I will serve all the time. There was a selection for kettlebell lifting. Well, in general, the day is lazy. I watched the movie "the first avenger", ate sweets and called my family.

The day was a success, finally lights out. I want to sleep!

December 18th.

The morning check-up was earlier than usual, I didn't have time to shave and got a cradle.

There was tactical training for half a day. They practiced a flash on the right or left, air, gases.

A flash on the right means you need to fall to the left and cover your head. Air-lie down on the ground and shoot into the air. Gases-put on a gas mask. I didn't have time to put on a gas mask and they carried me in their arms, like dead.

Overall, the day went well.

December 19th.

We walked around the field in uniforms again and executed commands. I liked it today, and it's fun wearing gas masks too.

At the command "enemy on the right", everyone runs away, falls to the ground, pulls out machine guns and points in that direction. I even aimed every time imagining that there was an enemy there and slowly pulled the trigger on an exhale, as they taught in school in shooting classes. I like that, it's cool. In civilian life, you will need to do airsoft. Soon there will be a "march" and we will run in full combat gear for 5 km, follow all the commands that we taught. I look forward to.

20th of December.

The morning is normal. By the way, I shaved well. But no one checked. They also trained me to wear a UGC-a Combined-arms Protective Suit and a gas mask. Gloves and rubber boots, or rather they are called stockings. This is a chemical protection suit. My least favorite standard.

By the way, the guys are already buying food for their money, officers' dinners, some kind of goodies. And I'm saving, I don't want to get used to spending a lot of money. I will try to spend on the most necessary things, such as shaving foam, toilet paper and so on. By the way, our salary is about $2 per month. Yes, yes, I was not mistaken, it's only $2. There was also a sergeant's ass analysis in the team, which turned all the guys against themselves. There are guys from my city that I stick with and one funny guy that I've made friends with. His name is Volodya, he's fat. I want to train him and make him an athlete. Everyone doesn't like him, because he constantly says when he doesn't like something: "fuck you!" reminds me of my friend from the citizen. At the age of 18, he was the same.

We practiced together for the first time, maybe this day will change his future life.

December 22nd.

The second month of our stay in the army has begun. I had a great shave again today, and it already smacks of craftsmanship. Today, shaving excites me the most. This is a problem for me and a lot of attention is paid to him in the army, I don't understand why this is so. And I also have severe irritation from constant shaving. Volodya says this because of the foam. I took the simplest one.

I got green snot, the boys say it's a sign of sinusitis. There was tactical training again, we ran and jumped into the UGC. I crawled well on the ice, on my elbows. They also told about the eternal summer weapon and about the BAT 32 equipment, supposedly it can survive a nuclear explosion. I talked to my wife on the payphone in a very good mood.

And I also practiced with Volodya, swinging my legs. We did squats and an "imaginary high chair."

December 23rd.

Today is PCD1 day. Roughly speaking, cleaning. I was washing the toilet, I didn't have time to leave, as the toilet was shat again. We removed our position 3 times faster than the second platoon. Do you know why? We were a team, we did everything clearly and smoothly while they were figuring things out. Probably this is the main lesson of the army, to do everything clearly and harmoniously, to stick to each other. Here's an example: the guys went to the store and asked me what to buy, I said I didn't need anything, and they bought me a big toffee. And there was also a case where a guy whom no one respected asked the guys to buy halva for his money, and they decided to give it to us on the way back. And they told him that she wasn't. Here you need to treat everyone humanely and then you will live well. I came up with the idea of the "modification" project. Later I will describe what kind of project it is.

December 24th.

PCD1 is a park and business day. It's Saturday, on this day we do general cleaning. That is, we take everything out, wipe the dust everywhere, sweep it up, make foam, spread it on the floor and wipe it with brushes. Something like that.

December 24th.

Lying in bed, it seemed that there was a blizzard, frost, and snowdrifts outside. But no, the temperature is above zero, the sun. It's cool, like December, it's +8 outside.

I prepared a file for a couple of days, watched the movie "teleport". Sunday is going well. But next week will be difficult. Outfit, shooting, digging trenches, 5 km long march.

I haven't written about it yet, but Sunday is the only day off in the army. When you can have a good rest. Everyone hopes not to step into the outfit on this day, so as not to work, but really relax.

On the account of "perestroika":The guy's name is Vladimir, 18 years old. Height 175, weight 85. He was not fond of sports, likes to eat and play computer games. I was able to pull myself up 1 time after 4 days of training. I will train him for these 1.5 years and tell him all sorts of information about psychology and motivation and self-development. He's also a funny guy, with a little low self-esteem. The goal after the army is to get a regular job, play computer games and eat in the evenings.

Will I be able to change it for the better? We'll find out. Tomorrow is another holiday, a day off. We will sleep again until 7 a.m. (on weekends and holidays, we get up an hour later).

December 25th.

Day off, watching TV. I'm wearing an outfit today, but I'm not discouraged, because a normal guy comes with me. I filed, shaved, brushed my teeth, changed my socks, and repeated my duties… I'm ready to step into the outfit. At night, we cleaned the barracks quickly, before 23:40. It's 00:25, I'm standing on the bedside table, reading the regulations. I write my diary clumsily because I write on weight. My legs and head hurt. Tomorrow, my head will probably hurt again, and for the next 2 days. In general, you already need to write the next day.

(at this moment, I have 2 daily outfits on my account and I hope that I will rarely take over in them, but I do not realize that there will be 96 of them on my account, more than anyone from my draft.)

December 26.

The time is 2:08 a.m. another 40 minutes and I'm going to bed. My legs and back hurt a lot. And the feet themselves are burning with fire from the buttocks. Although I'm not standing on the bedside table, but sitting on it and I don't care that the camera is pointed at me. It's not so bad now, it will be bad tomorrow to stand on the bedside table without getting enough sleep with a headache until 5 pm.

In short, I'm waiting for 2:50 and going to bed.

I would not forget to send a New Year's letter to my family before the evening.

I woke up easily. It's like I've been sleeping for 8 hours, but I'm sleepy. The company left for the training ground and only 4 people remained. We are two day workers, the duty officer and the one who replaces him at night. You can rest for three days. I've changed out of my outfit, I'm resting. My legs hurt like hell. But nothing, everything is fine.

They gave me a mobile phone, called my family and I'm waiting for the command to hang up.

December 27th.

The day of the march that we were all so afraid of. I barely got up in the morning. My back hurt very much after the outfit. We drove for a long time, my eyes were closing and I couldn't imagine how I would run.

On the spot, we learned how to put up a tent, as well as put on the UGC. We were built and prepared to run, we ran in 2 columns. I was the first one, even though I didn't want to. Next to me, Volodya is the first in the second column. He immediately ran very fast, despite the fact that he was not running all right. I realized that we would not be able to run for a long time at this speed and asked him to run a little slower, jogging. There was a forest, hills, descents and ascents, sand. Smoke bombs were thrown next to us, blanks were fired. It was difficult to run, we rested during the commands "air", "enemy on the right / left". During these commands, you could lie down for a couple of seconds and rest. But I liked it, I felt like a fish in water. And so, running to the place, we were ordered to dig trenches for prone shooting. How to dig them? Lying down, in a gas mask, in a helmet, the machine gun should also be on the shoulder.. That feeling when you are lying in a helmet, suffocating in this gas mask and starley lights a smoke bomb under the shots of the ACS and throws it near you. That's the atmosphere. It's worth living for such moments. There's so much smoke that you can't see anything at all, not even the shovel you're holding in front of you. The gas mask stops helping with so much smoke. And you start digging harder and harder. Without digging the trench, they lifted us up and we ran back, checked if all the uniforms were in place and got into the car. Everyone went to bed right away because they were tired. And Volodya and I started chatting about all sorts of nonsense. We didn't run 5 km as we thought. And about 1.5. I liked it, I would repeat it again. It's 4:57 p.m., the sun is shining. It feels like it's March or April, there's no snow, it's dry. You can't say that the new year is in 4 days. It's +6 outside. I also received 3 letters. There is no limit to my joy.

By the way, on the march we had with us: a duffel bag, unloading, pouch, shovel, UGC, stockings and a gas mask.

December 28th.

I washed the floor in the morning, today everything seems to be in class. I slept like the dead, fell asleep quickly and got up on command. This is the first time. Still, there was a drill today, but there was nothing complicated, and I looked at the dawn. They also told how AK and Pecheneg (machine gun) work. More precisely, about why the barrel does not overheat and about the AK-12, a mixture of M4 and AK74 with high accuracy and rate of fire and lack of recoil. Today, one guy was sent to plaster the ceiling and I was with him as a helper. I'm not used to construction, I don't understand how I used to do it.

I also pulled myself up with weight, it was very difficult, the muscles had already begun to atrophy, I hadn't trained like this for a long time. Last time in civilian life.

December 29th.

The morning was easy, everything was done quickly, there was a lot of time to shave and even started writing a diary in the morning.

In general, the day is easy, no one really bothers us, we just sit and supposedly teach duties. We went to the sauna, Volodya and I swayed, I stood the bar at 3:05. So far, my record. Company stand down…

December 30th.

The morning didn't go well, in the morning my friend got sick at the construction site. They put him on a bed all white. To be honest, I was scared for him. We took him to the infirmary. There was also a foam party today, the second platoon, as always, decided who would do what. Well, we did everything quickly with our platoon. I also cleaned the belt. Initially, it was painted green, but in our department it is customary to remove the paint, immediately with a metal brush, and then with a small sandpaper. After lunch, the day is light, the barracks were decorated before the new year. They even allowed me to go to bed and sleep. The guys from the visits brought delicious food for everyone, there was even my favorite cookie. By the evening, there was some kind of awareness of the new year and with it sadness and longing.

December, 31st.

I slept well and just looked out the window for an hour and a half. We went outside, and there was snow.. It was very unexpected. Some kind of magic. It was a great day, we were given our phones and I called my family all the time. And I also sewed a couple of secret pockets in the form, for the future. So that you can secretly carry your phone with you. We are waiting for the new year…

They started preparing for the holiday. They carried tables, chairs, and set the table. The second platoon was dumb as always, but we tried. I cut up the whole sausage and a lot of other small things. I didn't want to eat on New Year's Eve itself, there were a couple of contests and skits. We went to the fireworks and went to bed at one o'clock in the morning.

There is a depressive mood in the army on New Year's Eve, you realize that you are losing your life here..

January 1st.

At 5:30, I was awake as usual. We got up at 9. We got up, washed, dressed and started eating everything that was left. I was standing next to a bucket of chicken, it was 7 liters. I ate 5 chicken legs, and then climbed into the same bucket with olivier salad and herring under a fur coat and greedily ate it all. Top with 3 mugs of coffee and a bunch of cookies and other sweets. Coffee in the army is a rarity, especially for the first half of the year. It is so unusual to drink coffee and watch TV carelessly while in the army.. Well, that's how my new year in the army went.

January 2.

I got up in the morning with a stomach ache. It's normal after a day of overeating. After I got out of bed, it suddenly darkened in my eyes so much that I was blind for about 5 seconds. Soon everything passed and I went to have breakfast. I had a little snack and went to the barracks. It was bad. I had stomach aches, chills and weakness. And then suddenly a doctor came and asked if we had any complaints. I didn't want to talk right away, but suddenly it went dark in the ranks again and there was a noise in my ears. I said I was sick. The doctor gave me a thermometer to take my temperature. It turned out to be 38.4. He gave me a thermometer in my mouth, it showed 36.6. He said that I might have been worried, so he showed the thermometer. And it's safer in the mouth. They gave me pills and told me not to eat anything, just to drink boiling water. The doctor arrived in the evening. There was no fever, but there was a fever. She sent me to bed early. It's 21:20, evening verification is underway, and I'm writing this text and going to bed.

The first period.

January 3rd.

In the morning, our patients were raised early, their temperature was taken and they were given pills. I woke up in a sweat, all wet. I have a little headache and feel sick about strong black tea without sugar.

Today is the day when you need to leave for the brigade. The course of the young fighter is over and it's time to go to the main place of service. We quickly packed up our things and Comrade Major took us to his car. He took us to the first-aid post in that new unit for us, without even going into the barracks. He said he would watch until the evening and let him go to the barracks. There were 4 of us and most likely we were poisoned by the salad "herring under a fur coat". Since we were sitting at the same table and we had a plate with the same salad that our friend brought from a visit. The one who ate the most is the worst of all.